The exact origins
of Steak and Blowjob Day are not exactly
known to many, but there are many scholars who claim the
holiday was originally created by the Romans to celebrate
the harvest of beef and was set coincide with a full moon.
Archeologists
have found ancient scrolls that describe the primitive
traditions of the day we now refer to as Steak and Blowjob
Day. Many believe the Romans declared the holiday as a
day of relaxation, it is rumored that the Roman Empire
fell because of too much steak and too much blowjob during
one Steak and Blowjob Day gone wrong.
The holiday was forgotten for many years
and it seemed that this storied event was destined for
the forgotten pages of history.
It was during the Age of Enlightenment
that a young French merchant heard the tales of Steak
and Blowjob Day and was set to resurrect the holiday.
Many claim that the man had never received a blowjob before
and he had a craving for a steak. After a hastily organized
campaign the holiday became a staple of French culture.
It was during this time that the holiday was celebrated
on its current day of March 14th.
The
holiday seemed to be everlasting during its heyday, but
like many things, Steak and Blowjob Day was about the
go through another dark period. It is rumored that Napoleon
Bonaparte banned the holiday because he was unable to
sustain an erection. Anyone caught enjoying the holiday’s
activities were sent to the guillotine. Many French began
to refer to the blowjob as “giving head”,
due this cruel and unusual punishment, the term is still
used today by some.
Due mostly to fear, Steak and
Blowjob Day began to disappear again. An underground
movement started in England, a movement to restart the
excitement of Steak and Blowjob Day, this time it would
be on the other side of the world and few would know.
Upon arriving in the New World the secret
society used subtle marketing and some political connections
in Washington to get the word out about the holiday. Many
women were upset that Steak and Blowjob Day was not fair,
that they wanted a holiday. The solution was simple, to
create a holiday tailored to the American female population,
thus the creation of Valentines Day.
Throughout
modern history some have tried to bring attention to the
historic holiday, but for the most part the holiday was
kept low key. In more recent times former president Bill
Clinton made headlines due to the Steak and Blowjob Day
he spent with an intern.
Tom
Birdsey, a radio disc jockey for 103.7 FNX in Providence,
Rhode Island brought the holiday to greater attention,
by promoting the event through the station and on the
internet. So now that you know the history of Steak and
Blowjob Day, take some time to enjoy the holiday that
your ancestors have fought for.
tell a friend about this site
link to steak and a blowjob day
